"Your dress is too short."
Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
OH MYG OD
Being a nice person is so fun
Waiter messes something up? You can see the relief on their faces when you don’t scream and swear at them about it
Extra tickets at an arcade/prize place? Watch a little kid’s face light up when you give them a bunch of tickets
There are too many assholes in this world. Be a nice person.
i want to sit on a kitchen counter in my underwear at 3 am with you and talk about the universe
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"
"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did
- u get horny over fucking everything
- you fucking ruin your panties
- what the hell
- people just fucking stop
- this list is fucking awful
this has been my rule of thumb for years(via lacigreen)
Here’s a general rule. When an insult is directed at a woman, consider how it would have sounded directed at a man. If the result is ridiculous, then it’s probably sexist.